Is it bad that everytime I read or hear "Woo Hoo" I immediately think of sex because of The Sims?
The cop refused to sing with us, even though he was as happy as we were that the tow truck finally showed up.
i'm surprised you didn't wake up. like i literally came when he was fingering me as i was spooning with you and all you did was mumble "that's a good idea, mom" and pull the sheets away from me.
They're re-releasing Titanic in 3-D. Can I interest you in a joint venture to create the greatest drinking game of all time? I think yes
OH GOD NOT SANTA BABY. NO NO NO. YOU'RE LIKE 85. OMG MULTIPLE WOMEN. NO NO NO STAHP.
i know you're upset so i should probs be supportive but i've got nothing in that department. your life suuuuucks
For Halloween this year I'm going to paint myself in gold, wear a golden toga and sash saying " cunt goddess"
Is it wrong that I want to do a nude photo shoot with nothing but a light saber?
He has been feeding me cheesecake and candy for breakfast. Naked. For three days. How am I ever going to leave????
I was thirsty after the sex and it was a long trek back to res so naturally I stole chocolate milk from his fridge as I left
Btw I did not technically have a dick in me but I was naked in bed with a man during the last finals game so that is why the Warriors won
I have never encountered a chode in the wild
THEY DIDN'T THROW MY PORN AWAY!!!!
True strength comes from lack of pants
We were getting breakfast he shit himself in the middle of ihop. Mid bite he just yells out o fuck.
Randomize
