I want a gay best friend. or apple sauce either one is fine with me
he kept whispering yes yes yes yes the entire 15 minutes. i almost wish it was a quickie.
Mass texted booty calls to all the guys I've hooked up with this year to commemorate the end of the semester.
OH MY GOD MY GRANDMA JUST SHOWED ME HER BOOB OH. MY. GOD.
Beer pong consisted of me throwing a ball at the wall and then falling over because moving my arm made me dizzy. I think our team lost.
WHY DIDN'T YOU INVITE ME TO RUN THROUGH TACO BELL'S SPRINKLERS AT 4AM?!
You know it's a good Halloween party when a guy wearing a light-up sombrero offers you blow.
We also had rum, but now that's all gone. Which I feel is appropriate for a pirate party.
We ended up on their roof with our pants around our ankles shotgunning beers at one point.
We perfected the quiet ass slap during sex so his roommate wouldn't wake up.
Did this whole conversation happen while you were shitting?
*6am blends another margarita* *615am blends straight tequila*
He listens to me complain and in return I send him naked pictures. It's a win win situation
Wandering around the streets of Baltimore at two in the afternoon. Just offered a job as a stripper. Think I should accept?
Try an internship first, see if you enjoy it.
He stumbled out of their hotel room and yelled, "I'M ON A STATEWIDE TOUR. I'VE BEEN IN KENTUCKY AND OKLAHOMA."
Randomize
