the bulge in his pants is not junk. its hair. trust.
it was like the sexual equivalent of when Wilson fell off the raft and floated away
I had to throw up. it was the only way to avoid kissing her after she swallowed..
I hope so. I just start to question my lifestyle when i pee on coffee tables
By round 4 of the Dead End shots, I thought my jaw was dislocated ... Best invention EVER.
My neighbor just watched me eat a granola bar without pants, this is a whole new level of unemployed
The number of people who end up getting laid as a result of the cha cha slide....is terrible.
On the 3rd day, she mixed sangria and orange juice and saw that it was good.
I mean, the sex was awesome last weekend, but I didn't even imagine I'd reached ovarian rupture status.
are we fucking for lunch or am I using my vibrator ?
this is an emotional support booty call
You ever fart so bad at work that you think about taking a sick day just to spare your coworkers from the savage olfactory beating they are about to receive?
Hey, remember that time a week ago when we walk-of-shamed literally down the Vegas Strip at 8:45am and I had one broken heel?
I just want to be like "i dont know you but ive seen your penis & i like it"
when you shit yourself on the way to school its time to give up and go home
Randomize
