He looks like Jesus, if Jesus had let himself go.
college drinking is stealing all my money, thank god planned parenthood is somewhat free
I'm sorry I didn't make it out, I got distracted by sparkley boobies.
Remember when I booked a hotel room for next sat? Nneither do I.
I just ditched my friends to hang out with the chilis restaurant crew...one of these girls better have daddy issues
I was trying to be an adult about it and simply deal with the situation, but a bowl seemed much more comforting.
my vagina hasn't met your boyfriend yet ... makes me sad
Gonna play a drinking game called drink til I feel my emotions. The things I do so I can be a therapist
I'm going to fix your towel rack. I broke it while I was dancing on it.
Panda onesie. Pizza. Netflix. Wrapped up like a burrito. Screw you guys and your cute relationships THIS IS WHAT INFINITE HAPPINESS TASTES LIKE
my goal for the rest of college is to escape STD free. fuck getting a job. this is more important.
I bought a mink out of the back of some guy's van on my walk home from the bar yesterday
Waking up drunk is great, waking up drunk and hanging with your mom is even better.
Needless to say, I did not go home with him cause he kinda resembled a guppy fish.
Omg. I meet up with you guys with bodily fluids on my chin ONE time and suddenly I'm a whore.
Randomize
