During sex he started singing that song in Forgetting Sarah Marshall--"Inside of You"--by Russell Brand
He's been grabbing my ass as a greeting since 2004, sex was overdue
It's been 5 months since I last wore a condom.
Not including when spray tanning
It wasn't random sex though, it was almost a relationship, built on lies and sex
Come over, I want to eat cookie dough off your dick.
U should just post that picture of u two on facebook with the caption, does anyone know this girl? If so please tell her to take plan b, thanks
I woke up at 5:47 in the morning to you peeing on my parents bedroom floor. I think we've established that you have a limit .
The taxi driver was going on about how many drunk chicks want to sleep with him when he drives them home. Not sure if he was bragging or hinting
How do I go about messaging a girl on a dating site whose little sister I've had a three some with...?
How on earth did you break your wrist?
I went into someone's yard so I could pee and I found a tireswing
what are you going as for halloween?
drunk, naked, & emotionally unstable
Please note that in response to your post about your dog's jaws clamped hard around a stick, I did not comment, "Takes after his dad." You're welcome.
Observations from Vegas: #1. Strippers pasties pose a choking hazard. #2. Best. Heimlich. Ever.
Our relationship revolved around Taylor Swift albums. It's no wonder it ended so fast
The internet was right. Snorting muscle relaxers is awful
Randomize
