I don't care where my tongue is but i t's going to be in all the pictures.
It didn't get weird until she took off her underwear, looked down, and said "fill her up!"
No one will ever love me with the amount of puke on my hand
I just replaced the poop spray with an air horn... Now we wait!
there is vomit in the pocket of my dress coat. i remember thinking "this is a weird place to puke" at some point in the evening, but i dont understand how i did this.
Dude this weed smells so good they should make it into a Vicks vapor rub scent and I would rub it all over myself.
Why isn't there a super hero that comes to the aide of really high kids when they kill their car battery?
Fuck I forgot the furry convention was this weekend and now I'm downtown. Way too high for this shit.
His chest is so hairy i want to pet it with my nipples.
There should be a Doritos delivery van or something.
I'm sorry I keep having sex wth your friends. I'm done, for real. Unless cole is interested. Other than that, I'm done.
He is such a generous lover, I can look past the fact his name is fucking Bob.
Saw two pregnant women at court today and I SWEAR one of them said "we had a threesome with this random guy and he got both of us pregnant."
the only thing she has in her apt so far is toilet paper and shot glasses. you can see where the priorities lie.
Getting a lap dance from a girl you went to high school with really isn't as awkward as you'd think
And she called me out by name, nothing could have made it more awkward but it ended up not being that bad
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