If I've learned one thing today? Blow jobs get you to state championships.
Alright. Who did it? Who's bangin' the ump?
all we ever talk about is how much i like your dick or my drug problem.
I kept waking up & seeing my Goodfellas poster and thinking it was a window with people crammed against it staring at me.
I guess the lighting in my room made it look like they were moving. I remember telling myself that they were watching over me and protecting me from the cops
You know why I moved here? No public intoxication law. A cop just helped me from my bent over vomit pose, asked if I was ok, and gave me a ride home.
we started pounding beers an hour ago to celebrate our personal snow day tomorrow. vodka shots for u of i's actual decision are on standby.
Oh you're gonna love this story. I almost cut off a little girl's pony tail.
I knew it would be an interesting night when he showed up at my house on a scooter wearing a six foot american flag as a cape.
He rolled up to the party in an ice cream truck. He was definitely my first priority
Do you ever actually plan things? Or is it always drugs then whatever happens? I'm considering being worried about you
i need some food
Holy shit I forgot about you stabbing him.
So I just stirred my shower drink with my razor.
I'm not going to ask which end you used.
Good friends go out of their way to crop dust your ex not once but twice. I knew we were friends for a reason
Idk if I should be worried or amused that my autocorrect changes the word STD to DTF.
are you still up? I want to use you for sexual things. you have 35 minutes to respond to this offer.
Sorry I missed your call earlier. I was getting high with my high school band teacher.
Randomize
