I cant believe I just managed to do a drug deal across the country for you...
Bad news: I had to be at work at 7:15. Good news: no one had used the bathroom yet so I got to defile a freshly cleaned stall
Threesomes are so awesome. You even have company on your walk of shame :)
She wanted to test if her costume allows her to still have sex in it. It does
i just funneled a beer through a mask n snorkel.. can you check that off my bucket list..
He threw up in the campfire, the alcohol in his puke caught on fire. Im marrying this man
Remember how I haven't seen my step sister in like 7 years? Pretty sure I just made out with her...
Its like a match made in avoid-eachother-because-we're-antisocial-and-awkward heaven
Still at home. Videotaping hamsters.
I know, my friend Erin took me into the bathroom at work and poured pickle juice on me.
She kept calling herself DJ McDonalds and said she wanted to make some Egg McMusic.
YOU SLEPT WITH A GUY WHO HAS A BILLBOARD IN HIS HONOR?
Sorry I blacked out in bed
it was real late and you were brushing your teeth with miller light. it was bound to happen.
I made out with that lesbian chick for a blunt. NO REGRETS.
Fuck your fuckin pumpkin spice. You and your subtle differences frighten and disgust me.
Randomize
