We traveled between two mile markers in 18 seconds. Do the math.
She invited me to an Eagles game, I mean that is almost better then if she told me she could only function with large amounts of semen in her system at all times.
As I was buying milk at the market, the lady at the checkstand said, "what? No alcohol today?" have I really earned THAT reputation?
If letting him bang me while i'm wearing reindeer antlers and a painted red nose isn't the christmas spirit, I dont know what is
She took a picture of me when she thought I was sleeping. I don't know whether to be amused or scared.
The president of the frat said he was honored to award me "Best Overall Blow Jobs", free admission to all their future parties, and a $20 gift certificate to Denny's. I'm not sure if I feel proud or if that's just the burrito coming back up...
Also, what are the symptoms of syphilis?
No you usually just ranted about the voicemail bitch until she cut you off again
the bar didnt serve shots so jim ordered us jaeger neat. it worked.
Tell them to carpool to pride, have a 3way, and if one says 'no thanks' just tell em it's not gay if it happened in a 3way!
My Dicks been hard all day. Poor guy isn't used to vacation being over
I will consider it. I need to determine if ogling him is worth almost certain death via zipline.
You just had sex during the movie Radio. This is an all time low
I'm sorry I couldn't bail you out, apparenty they dont take credit cards over the phone. Did you at least make any friends in jail?
i think ive been high everyday since ive met you
Apparently I was carrying around a bottle of listerine calling it 5 loco
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