I'm drinking ghetto ass mojitos!
Wow. How can mojitos be ghetto?
Squirt + bacardi limon + limes = ghetto mojitos
Woke up with feathers in my hair. at work. still drunk. sooo awkward.
Countdown til Saturday. I'd assume we're somewhere around 10,000 bottles of beer on the wall.
Even after projectile vomiting watermelon on the beach, it still sounds appetizing.
If you hook up with your cousin you will permanently be my favorite person ever.
We thought we were getting kicked out but then he started tickling the bouncer. Next thing you know the bouncers giving him a piggy back ride to the bar.
I blacked out after you got about 8 goldfish out of the tank and put them in your pockets. We're not allowed back. It was a sucky Walmart anyway...
I just had my first non-cocaine-induced nosebleed for the first time in 2 years. This calls for a celebration.
Left and drinking by a bar by myself. Everyone is in pajamas. I'm in a tuxedo. This is my life.
Packing a mid day bowl in the Sonic parking lot. Have I gone too stoner?
She asked for references to decide whether she wanted to have sex with me. And she was serious.
Was i rolling around in a parking lot last night
I feel like I shouldn't be encouraging my friends to hook up with their teachers.....but if it's for academic reasons....then I definitely encourage it.
My puke in the shower morning just turned into a puke in the restroom at work afternoon. I'm the human embodiment of dumpster fire.
Never in my life did I expect to see Eric's mom in a cheerleader outfit along with other women
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