This Casey James character from American Idol is really gonna mess up my sex life.
Or maybe the fact that you know who Casey James is will be what messes up your sex life.
it's fine if we fail the bar, we were never going to satisfy the moral character requirement anyway
I'm not going to fuck him in his Honda Fit. That's gay.
Missed another period
I almost hope you're pregnant, this is unfair.
The Swedes wanted a tensome.
I ended up on the roof were calling it a tie
I cannot even. Taco bell reception. Beers. New friends from Georgia.
I wish pancakes were everywhere. Just pancakes. I want lilies at my wedding. No dress. Just priest. Just lilies.
Ok wear gym clothes just in case we feel like going shitfaced to the gym
he just hooked up with some chick in a bedroom upstairs so I just went to sleep in the pantry closet...
Hooked up with a guy solely because he had a chameleon. Priorities.
After last night, I think I need a service animal to monitor the life choices I make when I'm inebriated. A monkey, or a clever dog. Or a really assertive parrot.
This is why we can never be just regular friends. The shit we do is not regular
I may or may not have just had sex in the bed of a pick-up at a drive-in movie theater.
Never underestimate the power of titties
Randomize
