What was that guy's name that you dated that wore the leotard?
O.A.R does not stand for Old Recycled Abortions.
The tricky part is not getting sand in any orifices. Or is the plural orifi? Orifi don't, we'll both be unhappy...
why does the wii remote smell like your vag?
Then, he just started shoving orange pieces in my mouth as a chaser
Obviously a higher power wants us to be sunday drunk together
Hardcore start to spring break. Mike is wearing adult diapers because the only stop we are making is for gas.
she's an english major so her sexts are something i look forward to
Just heard a girl ask "Wait you're not my boyfriend?!" to a guy wearing the Mickey to her Minnie Mouse on my way home. Made me feel better about myself.
Dude I was tripping acid when she was crying and I literally couldn't defend myself
Even with help how did you paint a bullseye around your asshole?
We shall need something stronger. Anal lube, the blood of a giraffe, and a bay leaf should do the trick. Make the paste and cover your left knee and anus in it.
I may have interrupted sex but im bringing them both to McDonalds. Am I not the greatest older sister ever?
I feel like with a dick like that he could of done more with it
You pee in parking lots....i drive home naked.....thats the american dream i was promised
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