just survived the first fart of the relationship.
My lack of memory is directly related to being friends with you.
he/she has shaved legs and makeup on. but a spare tire stomach, high socks with high heels...a wig and glasses. and still talked like a man. it was a nightmare scenario
Well, as a member of the greater american southwest gay community I just have to mark this as a total loss and you will be missed.
You can't break up with me and ask me for a handjob on the same day. At least not in that order.
Apparently we were just playing "bang a bridesmaid". I'm not sure if I won or lost...
You gave your boss a bj to get the safe employee of the month award?
I have enough bourbon in me to put Justin's cat in the dishwasher.
I just got hit on at the bar by a guy who used his mother as a wingman, she was pretty convincing. Only in Stratford.
Its 8 in the morning and I wouldn't pass a breathalyzer test, How's your day been?
It's settled. One of us is going to bang her brother. The world demands justice and he's hot. We'll be the justice league if it were made of alcoholic whores
He texts me "just to say hi" and then tells me how hard he is and sends me a dick pic. And I'm like, dude, I'm ordering a burrito right now
He was singing R-E-S-P-E-C-T to a stripper between motorboats while our HR manager cheered him on.
Good news. His dicks gotten wayy bigger since high school. I love Thanksgiving break.
he bought me ice cream then took me home and fucked the shit outta me. you can't write this kinda romance.
Randomize
