Should I ask him to prom mid fuck? That way he has to say yes.
Having a conversation over beer pong about a threesome I participated in...it's only Wednesday
lol whn u cming hre I nd 2 c ur fce
IF YOU TEXT ME ONE MORE SHORTENED VERSION OF A WORD, THE ONLY THING YOU'LL SEE IS MY FIST IN YOUR FACE.
you laugh because clearly you have never had to clean poop out of a tub
woke up to 35 texts all saying im cheating on her
me and last nights hook up spent two hr. figuring out a reply we went with i love you..
thanks for texting me "so many asians" at 1am...
there were a lot.
you covered his dog in toothpaste. safe to say hes not gonna call you.
I'm such a fucking super-fan. I was worried his cum would wash away his autograph.
No we don't really celebrate valentines day, we just use it as an excuse to drink 3 bottles of red wine and fuck for a few hours.
I'm buying groceries with adderoll. I hope I'm never this broke again.
You told him he looked like Jesus and that you wanted to fuck his face, I'd say your blind date went well
I was sitting down, taking a piss with a boner, her cat walked into the bathroom and walked up to my legs, I sneezed and pissed all over her cat through between the toilet seat and bowl, it ran off screeching. She thought I peed on her cat on purpose. Kicked me out
day drinking didnt prepare me for this..
I felt the need to set off fireworks in the living room while they were having sex upstairs. Yes, they quieted down.
She called me at 2am crying because her late night booty call moved out of state
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