i caught a guy at work today stealing condoms. i let him go when i realized that they were extra small.
Why is it people are always in costumes on Cheaters these days? Joe Greco literally just said, "It appears they get chased by a chicken with a chainsaw." WTF?
she had the hairiest bush ive ever seen. it looked like a spoiled head of lettuce.
im shaking like a drug addict and i almost just shat my pants when i sneezed...no more patron for me
He's pole dancing on a heat lamp.
We had sex under a tree in his boss's backyard, then I hooked up with his best friend. I don't even care how I got home.
I gave up trying to understand them years ago. Now I'm just trying to fuck them.
Dude, she sent me a nude of her posing in the mirror and her dad was in the reflection
Going to the u of w I constantly have that moment of, oh hey I felt you up at that rave at folk fest that one time. Winnipeg is too small.
I'm beer bonging chocolate fondue. That's how my Valentines Day is going.
Let me begin to explain the rest of last night by beginning with saying that out if necessity I took a pair of your underwear
Rather than admit to myself I've spent $756 at the bar this month, I'm just going to pretend I gave it to a homeless person...kind of makes me feel better.
I just watched an intern spill two trays of coffee inside a spinning door
Best exit from a building ever
I can't control his boners. I can only encourage them.
So um... You probably shouldn't post that picture of me and your crotch just because that's a new level of raunchiness that I'm not willing to accept yet
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