and then I told him he looked like the Gordon's Fisherman dude. I don't think he thought it was funny, because he 'forgot' to pay for my beer.
I was rubbing the clit just like wikipedia told me to.
At least you didnt end up topless in a Tina Turner wig singing cabaret tunes
if you wouldnt have been fucking me hard and crazy like that then my bed wouldn't have broke. you owe me 600.
so you admit it was good then??
You took a bag of frozen peas to bed wiith you "to help with the inflamation".
mom just asked if we are going to need more kaluha as she pulls 5 out of the cupboard. this xmas might kill me
"Don't get as drunk as I was on my birthday" has been upgraded from a goal for Friday night to a goal for my life in general.
i was like his sober eyes girls would come up to us, show us theirs and if approved by me blew him, if rejected they went to my truck with a bottle of patron
Just found out drinking 6 trays of random shots makes me wake up on a club toilet with my underwear and jeans around my ankles
I'm like a walking PSA for tequila shots
I had a sex dream. With two guys. And my subconscious decided to put your dick on BOTH OF THEM. If there is a society where that does not mean "I cherish you" I do not want to live there.
Sexting Captain while emailing my eharmony match about my low key weekend is hard.
I peed my pants walking home last night... I just kept walking.
Well, he hasn't actually seen me naked. Just my boobs... and the left side of my vagina.
I have seen you puke and 5 mins later rock my world. So there is hotness there that average people will never see..
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