So she started giving everyone lap dances, and i was like "i think i like this chick"
Hey i just realized that im masturbating in the exact same kind of chair that they are doing it on in this porno
Come on the kid is gayer than me
Like the straightest thing he could do right now is take it up the butt
The glockenspiel player has some booze though so hopefully the ride won't be that bad
She has no definite jawline and all of her photo's have Ke$ha quotes as captions followed by a "<3" Even by your standards that is embarrassing.
I walked into the garage and you were telling the bikes that you were not that drunk.
do you think the bartender judged us for asking for shots of well vodka and water chasers?
You would not believe how incredibly hard it is to climb on top of a three story apartment buildings roof from the air conditioning unit
YOU RECOMMENDED ME TO THIS GIRL BECAUSE SHES A STRIPPER AND YOU KNOW MY WEAKNESS FOR STRIPPERS WITH CHILDREN.
Is it acceptable to have my intern get me pedialite and plan b?
It's a learning experience. She can add to her resume that she cured her bosses hangover and poor decisions
Sorry I got completely naked in your bed, but I feel our friendship has grown because of it.
I'm sitting in the shotgun seat of my car on full recline trying to pretend everything is ok
Found my bra in the fridge. See you in 10 mins. It's gonna be a good fuckin day!
Oh yeah I meant to tell you the Tomb Raider looking girl so crop dusted me on the stairway
yeah, I woke up with nacho cheese crusted all over my face and head...a lone jalapeno still stuck in my ear...you win this round drunk nachos....
Randomize
