It's sad that I have started checking out the ring finger before the rack...I'm getting old
just masturbated through my pocket at the library. hope you're enjoying your saturday night out.
oh man. maybe i should puke on his dick? just to test how much he loves me?
This beer is not sobering me up at all
There I was staring at a teeny weeny black one and a huge white one. It was like an episode of Myth Busters
You can't keep basing your relationship off of the fact that you both love ramen noodles
Wackin it to the USA womens soccer team. My own personal way of saying job well done.
I totally cried the whole time and then screamed out my new therapists name....
He stumbled out of the bar bathroom at 3:30 am with his jeans unzipped and his dick hanging out - it was the physical manifestation of "blackout with your cock out"
We were escorted through the guys dorm by 5 kids with nerf guns and zelda shields. I felt like the president with a fucked up secret service squad.
So here's my pathetic thought of the day: what does it smell like to be sober?
He fucked me in his tour van, I feel like an official groupie.... Except I don't even listen to his band.
i mostly like you because you have a nice nose and that's an important trait to pass on to my future children
Remember when we got high off our ass and you talked me into running in place then punched me in the face and said it was a wall?
Ya, you were bleeding for an hour and a half
So now your dad has seen my tits. You could have told me he was coming by to help paint.
I didn't think you'd be painting the kitchen topless.
I couldn't find a shirt I was willing to ruin.
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