yeah. you were just sitting there watching transformers, caressing your toaster.
All i remember as you were making ramen is that you kept slurring "i like you as a color"...
No. Please No. At first it was cool when you started bring an extra girl home for me but after 2 cycles of clap medicine I'm putting an end to it.
If letting him bang me while i'm wearing reindeer antlers and a painted red nose isn't the christmas spirit, I dont know what is
I know everyone screamed lady cop instead of cops. I wanted to apologize to her for our chauvinism
Its 11am, im in the city in a pocahontas outfit, lost a heel and found a gold rolex in my lingerie.
Like lay upon bear skin rugs, drink brandy and reminisce of the yesteryear's before a majestic fire place? Because those are my plans.
I'm ready to take a few years of my life this weekend
I feel like I shouldn't have to explain to you why giving your cat weed was a bad idea.
My walk of shame was 2 miles of feathers flying off of me, underwear in hand, and a homeless man telling me he'd pray for me. It was gold medal worthy.
WHAT IF I SAT OUTSIDE AND STARTED SCREAMING THE LYRICS TO O CANADA WOULD THAT FIX IT
PLEASE DON'T
I cannot belive our party caught on fire
I blacked out and when I woke up and looked at the counter.. there was a full cake upside down. I dont even understand ...
If we were unicorns we would fly together. Like in a pack. A pack of flying unicorns
Here's a rundown of my night alone. Danced my ass off in the kitchen to FleetmacWood. Drank a little bit. Ordered $40 worth of Chinese food once the drinks kicked in. Picked up said Chinese in dirty sweatpants and slippers. #livinglife
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