I got chris browned last night
She was wearing a "Got Beer" hat and your bed had necco wafers all over it the next morning. Another story for the grandkids.
Literally passed out while tubing... Boating while hammered is a blast but thank God for life jackets
You brought out the iron board layed it on the ground in the middle of everyone and passed out for the night
I just washed champagne and tuna off my body. I feel like that was a successful shower.
Your mom just threw up on me. Please come home.
His penis will pick the quickest route to vagina. it's like an biological onstar.
onest when I told you I'm a paramedic but I'm also a stripper.
It's a sign that no dudes december is about to start: I have a yeast infection.
I think we should bring back the casual nipple tassel
I still can't get the taste of her nipples and the udon noodles out of my mouth
...I think I just watched a boy make a sandwich seductively. What.
Just did body shot off a midget. Pretty good start.
She came out of the bathroom listening to her iPod and crying. Then she started scream 'she will be loved'. She seems to be handling the break up well lol
i was really depressed when i left the health dept this morning after i had to write a higher number next to "partners" than "age"
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