Well we can cross off dogs, dating sites, and real life as ways to help you meet a chick.
you know it's time to start studying when you've procrastinated to the point where you're reading your roommate's ex-boyfriend's wall posts from 2006.
He still hasn't made a move, so I slept with his brother last weekend. Maybe sibling rivalry will motivate........
There are regrets in my world today- mostly jager at that fucking altitude
Carpe scrotum. Grab life by the balls.
Climbing through a window thats four feet off the ground isnt the easiest thing when youre high, trust me.
Last night I dressed up as a cowgirl and walked into McDonald's. I bought 20 mcribs. There's pictures
Not to mention I think lunch is a little inappropriate when our relationship is only based on Mario kart and alcohol so far...
smoked four grams out of a bong with a mixture of pool water and white rum. I applaud you for leaving before losing too many brain cells.
A guy just grabbed my balls before he shook my hand because he thought he knew me.
I'm pretty happy on the couch eating Popeyes and watching Cops so if I go over there you better have drugs left
You told your family you're bi over the phone?!
We were talking about exes and it just came out....and so did I.
I just realized, you're dating a guy named Jameson. That is another level of whiskey dick.
how goes living off caffiene and alcohol?
i may have recently shit my pants. on two separate occasions.
Turns out the grown up version of seeing your teacher shopping is seeing your therapist is on tinder
Randomize
