marko just referred to some fat asian and a portly friend as Jupiter and one of its moons. unreal. hyte!
There needs to be a term for a female version of a rusty trombone
we need to drink 2009 down the drain
i wish we had morning classes together so we can spike our coffee.
Hookers taste better with whip cream
Maybe we ought to get some pennicillin too
Fair enough
Disregard any previous text from the past 12 hours. Except for the one about scoring a strike while drunk bowling. Remember that one.
Just took a celebratory "i havent slept with anyone in this bar" shot. yesssss....
Just for future reference: milk is NOT a good mixer no matter how drunk you are.
In that case, I'll try 2 find a date. But my options are AA friends or fuck buddies.
Am I a bad person for getting my ex to DD me and a random hookup home last night?
I just singed the hair in my nose trying to re-light a joint. now all i can smell is burnt hair. day ruiner
Made my roommate send me tit pics so I could send them to someone because I didn't want to move.
This whole quitting my bad habits all at once is really messing with my ability to function.
just turned another straight guy gay. Goddamn the church must hate me
So you just held his hand and he fucking came...?
Randomize
