Also, I'm sitting at a crosswalk watching two Mexican gangs fight each other. I miss you too. A lot.
you ever get that eerie feeling when you walk in a room, when you know youve barfed here before.
What time do you think the pilgrims started drinking? I want to be as accurate as possible.
alright so where did all these fingerpaintings on my bedroom wall come from?
dude. you drew those with your dick
Tell us when you see the semi truck on fire.
It never fails.. every time I have a dick in my mouth he calls me.
I can't even teach it... It's just natural slutyness.. My mom has it too
Your lack of great college experience of margaritas and foam parties scares me
Oh trust me, i am. It's like magic, but instead of rabbits and doves its orgasms- He just keeps pulling them out of nowhere.
This teachers last name is pfister and she did the fisting motion to help explain how to pronounce her name. This class might be good
Get this. He's a red head and he works at country oven bakery. He will forever be known as the gingerbread man.
the guy I've been trying to get with saw my brother's genitals before he saw mine, so that's my life.
my experiences serve only to benefit you young virgin
Do not confuse my plans for being an adult though. I will ABSOLUTELY be practicing suturing, on my porch, while getting stoned.
I canceled a date last night to eat pop tarts and go to bed early
Randomize
