OMg patrick swayze is the sexuest man he is killing me I'm gonna get dehydrated if I don't stop looking at him
she kept yelling 'call me bella'
Alcoholism comes in two forms... Us.
1. my parents still have sex. 2. being a screamer runs in the family. 3. so much so that i can tell what number of orgasms she's on. 4.so looks like i'm stuck outside a while
And I know a few people wouldnt want to even be around high people. Which is sad. But jet packs are cool.
you just kept bragging about how there was a "pretty large" chance that you had pooped on the same toilet as George Clooney
I really wanna know when trying to grow up turned into try not to throw up.
Smoked Hookah in the playhouse last night. Childhood was so fun.
Drinking and pointing where stuff needs to go is hard stuff.
just passed my midterm while getting a blow job. i love going to school online
Just got the test results back; apparently I'm red-green colorblind. this explains the past 18 years of my life and i'm wondering why i didn't realize this sooner
My professor just asked for my number. Not fucking her till after finals though I learned my lesson last time.
Dude, you got arrested for trying to direct traffic with your dick....
The fact that I’m not married yet means there are millions of lucky girls out there who have dodged a bullet
I woke up in a bathtub full of green and blue Nickelodeon slime! wtf?!
Randomize
