if you force a hooker to have sex with you and dont pay her would it be rape or theft? something to ponder
He chugged from a bottle of wine and then we had pretend sex
How do you have pretend sex?
It was bad...so it was pretend
it was like fucking gandolphs beard
I sent him a pic of my tits.. All he said was, "oh your sun burn"
i just remembered i chipped my tooth last night when i pulled up your pants zipper with my teeth
Plans for halloween need to outrank Caesar, Cleopatra and Mark Antony's threesome...just saying
At least I look tastefully trashed. My nipples are hidden and I'm standing up.
A giant panda just asked me for a cigarette and said "man pandas gotta smoke too." There is something wrong with this place.
Had sex with one of the guys from Ireland. Celebrating st pattys early.
He told me we were going to a cabin. It's just logs and a tarp made into walls. This night can go either way at this point.
Tequila, beer, rum, gin, and vodka all mixed in my body last night. The whole "never turn down free booze" is catching up to me. Hungover = understatement of the year.
Just gave my thesis presentation, pretty sure I made out with the admissions woman last night.
Last night was just a whirlwind of Mario Brothers and sex.
I don't think you could pull off being mean.
How do you think I'm still single?
Let's say we can see the evolution of our "relation" by his name in my phone. Pizza slice emoticone. Pizza guy. Jordan. Jo. Jackhammer Pizza Guy. Jockhammer pizza guy.
Randomize
