these two guys are about to go shot for shot with syrup
now he is talking to a potato
Everything smells like syrup. But I guess that's better than last time when everything smelled like beer.
And then he used the flashlight app to illuminate me giving him head. Thanks IPhone
He's taking me to Burger King to celebrate losing my virginity..
I was informed last night that im not allowed to pick up the bouncers and carry them around anymore. Last sat is starting to make more sense
i didnt think "maybe you should take over" was a good thing to say when i couldnt get it up
Why am I feeling up grandma?!
I'm really glad a picture of you as an infant followed this text.
I woke up in a toga after going to a Hawaiian party. I don't even know.
It's 3 am and I'm buying cat food and batteries for my vibrator. Good thing I shaved my legs for this.
why is there a wheelchair in the hall and why does it look like we banged in it?
Spending Thanksgiving making a swinging profile brings the day to a whole new level...
My stuff that was at your place last night smells like doughnuts. I'm not even mad.
Refresh my memory....were we forced to leave or did we choose to leave?
I know it sounds cheesy, but i think both me and her mum know they are "thanks for being so cool about finding nudes of your daughter on the camera" flowers
Say thank you and give him a blowjob.
Randomize
