dude wtf did we explode in my microwave last night?
idk but i think it had a face
the only thing i have to deal with now is the fact that i'm still wearing spandex shorts from last night
Just got my period. I'm not pregnant with Scott's child and I won't be having any sex tonight. This must be what they mean by bittersweet.
Dude I just figured out the mystery flavor of airhead is vodka sprite, no way i'm wrong
i didn't know falling asleep in the tbell line could get you a dui. Isn't everyone there stoned or drunk?
Hey man your outta milk
How the hell do you keep getting in my apartment?!
I've hooked up with six guys in my ethics class next semester...I feel like I've failed already
Would it be weird if I told you I thought of you when I masturbated?
Looks like I'm more than just your Mexico mistake...
BRILLIANT IDEA: In honor of summer olympics we need to start a synchronized drinking team.
And then, I saw the prophecy come to fruition. It was the Dick of Destiny.
Soooo you know how I said I was trying to be a rational adult? Well that led to me fucking a rational adult today.
See that doesn't work because we've had sex so its awkward for you to call me mom
Stoner thoughts are the only thoughts I want to have now.
we went book shopping, so yes this relationship is going to be about more than sex
Goat in kitchen.....explanation?....
Randomize
