You can't special order awesome
what happens if a cat eats a birth control pill? i mean i don't care about the cat i really just don't want to get pregnant
Fact: my bamboo plant has grown 2 & 1/2 inches since I started watering it with bong water
the only human I can compare her to is rosie o'donnell.
Count me out. I seem to have semen induced blindness in one eye.
it was not a walk of shame, it was a ferry ride of shame, and i'm not ashamed, so technically it was just an early morning ferry ride. wearing yesterday's clothing
and semen
you were stumbling down richmond carrying a girl in a nurse costume. its not even halloween dude
You invited the cop in for a "Celebrity shot"
Do you think I could convince a doctor that my uterus is poisoning me? It wouldn't technically be a lie. It does more harm than good.
He fell on top of me at a party. I slept with him a week later. We've been fucking for 2 moths. Most successful relationship ever.
Can I borrow you for, like, thirty minutes so you can lay on one boob and rub the other until I fall asleep?
He will be forever remembered as "birthday failure" ...Got him to pierce his tongue in my bathroom, but not sleep with me......
First encounter with a mirco peen. I was confused when he said he doesnt go down on girls. Cmon dude, practice on a peach.
I almost got an A in organic chem but started hallucinating during the final so I got a C
I don't blame you. I made YouTube videos of me singing Rent songs then slept with a married couple. Fucking tequila.
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