when i'm not drinking i'm making facebook events about drinking
just spent all of my last class as a college student, vomiting in the bathroom. its moments like these i will cherish
Your clothes are in washers 2,3 and 4. I arranged by darks, whites, then frat... I'm not even joking
He bought me flowers. The card with it said: Sorry I cant get you off. I will try harder.
Dont judge me. He may have been ugly but he was INCREDIBLE. He's like the Susan Boyle of sex.
you have no chance. her best friend is a human abstinence poster.
ur roommate just sent me a pic of us fucking. i'm not coming over anymore.
the game I always play with drunk me is can-you-button-and-unbutton things? If the answer is no, go home. Usually it's his pants
Dude next time u fuck on our counters will u please let me know BEFORE I make lunch.
It's surprise blowjob week. You should be excited.
It's national boyfriend day supposedly, would it be appropriate if I posted a picture of my dildo?
He wouldn't let me leave his house until he made me orgasm once for every year I've been alive. The birthday sex song did not prepare me for this.
Ohh I see how it works, eat pussy and I get Reese's pieces.
No one will ever find true happiness until they have gotten stoned and taken off the bra they've been wearing all day.
You, my dear friend, are a poet of the deep mental longings of women worldwide.
She moaned the name on my fake id during sex, that or she's cheating on me with someone named Victor
Randomize
