Getting fucked up met up rando with a girl I confesswed my love for last night. weird, going with it
Next weekend I am getting a library card and staying my whore ass home.
he said he doesnt sext because the government can tap that kind of shit too. no boobie pics for him.
Why did you put hummus in my pillow case?
Well the nurse forgot to take all my stitches out, so my surgical tools are peroxide, kitchen scissors, fingernail clippers, a pocket knife, and 11 beers. Let's do this...
Btw...pregnancy boobs are amazing. I don't recommend pregnancy in general but the boobs are good.
I want to wear something that says I'm a lady (but I have condoms!)
everyone thought he was too sick to make it, but he showed up. Ten minutes in and he's doing vodka shots with nyquil chasers
trading diseases for a hangover? that's either a really good decision or a really, really bad one. we'll find out if he wakes up tomorrow
Let's not fuck on an air mattress tonight...I'd rather get rug burn.
No dude, he just dipped his cigarette info ranch dressing and lit it. He's said he normally doesn't do that but it's Memorial Day.
I've found myself wondering why I WASN'T naked before, but I generally always know why I am naked. Except now. WHY THE FUCK ARE WE ALL NAKED
Doing the walk of shame at 1 AM. Stumbled across a rave. This night is epic.
I have never thoroughly inspected the geometry of my nipples until now. How do I fix this?
saying, "have a good fall!" After fucking a virgin boy is good etiquette, right?
it was awkward when he was taking off my clothes and i had to help him undo my fanny pack
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