I remember going home with 2 girls. Woke up with 4.
Well, for starters you dressed up in all Green and kept singing that song from "A Goofy Movie". Then you made us call you Powerline for the rest of the night...needless to say no, you didn't hook up with her
About to trim my pubes so if you decide to walk in, viewer discretion is advised.
As the night goes on these shots are getting so much easier. My liver jst needed a warmup lap.
He was just lying on my lap in the backseat screaming how if the cops came he was a blanket.
This number has temporarily been disconnected and will be restored to service once you get rid of you girlfriend.
If you're ever desperate for a guy's #, ask him to call your lost cell phone so you can find it. Some genius used that on me last night. FML
When you get home...find me in the shower. Only safe place at the moment.
I woke up last night a kitchen floor with my shirt off and I love America written on my leg in eye liner
he told me he had a dream that he laid his head in my lap and silently gazed up at me. WHY AM I ALWAYS THE DUDE IN RELATIONSHIPS
I still don't know his name but his ass is spectacular. Like he should never wear pants.
It's so hard to fall asleep when I can hear your genitals smacking against hers. I hate you with all the love in my heart.
like don't tell me my baby smooth vag offended you
Good news! Blood’s flowing!
Can you get the dildos out of the shower before the maids come?
Randomize