I may just buy something cuz i have 6 weddings in the next year and a half.
Holy shittt I don't even have a bf
You and your empty threats of no sex. Like.u.cud.hold.out.
The hardest part of getting a new computer is deliberating whether to start the cycle of porn and viruses all over again.
She threw all the patio furniture in the pool saying she was building a castle.
It's nice to see a girl prepared for the walk of shame. She brought headphones
We have literally factored in $2200 for bail money in the budget. This vegas trip will be out of hand. We are signing confidentiality contracts.
please dont let the old guy in the wheelchair see you when you wake up
the bar just sent me a facebook message congratulating me on being a regular and getting such good grades. my life is not real.
Asking him not to sleep with other girls is like asking me not to have my period apparently
The weekend is off to a good start: she just got into a verbal fight with a hobo. Nearly a fist fight.
I just don't do feelings in the summer months.
When he wears his hair down and sandals, he looks like Jesus. A Jesus I would fuck.
That's not what Jesus is for
wait can you just like go into detail with this penis touching thing? like was it a hand job or was it like a day at the petting zoo or something
just like fucking own it. stare that cop in the eye and just keep masturbating "yeah motherfucker Im high as shit and this feels great"
Rain drop, shock top, drinking can't stop stop
Randomize
