I want to take things slow emotionally, but fast physically
just had sex with a midget and didnt wrap it... were totally gonna have a tv show :)
he took his pants off right in front of me then just stood there so i went for his boxers and he said he was waiting till marriage
He told me to pretend to be a shark, and he would slay me with his harpoon cock.
I knew as soon as I saw that pole that I was going to wake up the next morning with bruises.
Also I climbed atop a mailbox with a toilet paper hat and a wolverine claw made of glowsticks, screaming at passers-by that they were going to die. Control me
aaaaaand im pretty certain i told that boy i just met that "his balls better be out tomorrow"
Just used the leftover candycorn for candycorn vodka. Our house is trying to continue the Halloween spirit for as long as possible.
My neighbour is taking her hamster for a walk on a leash. Come over now
I think it's safe to say I'm rolling my hypothetical balls off
Also this guy fingered me at the bar and then gave me his card
Ok thats it i need a list. Full names, nicknames, in which frats, with a photo, of all the guys youve hooked up with because three of the same guys is ridiculous
I'm on my third roll of toilet paper. Today can fuck right off.
Everyone is a disappointment when you lose your virginity to nine inches
Holy. Shit. I just remembered all the lapdances....
Randomize
