genius alert. I just invented a contraption made of toilet paper and rubber bands that makes it so your balls don't stick to your leg when you wake up from sleeping. I call it, The Balldozer
all i know is i woke up with a braid in my hair and i vaguely remember a cab driver telling me he would give me $10,000 to get him a green card. and he would take me to turkey. and give me free cab rides. im never drinking on my medicine again. lol.
But he made me breakfast and understands the fuck sleep fuck sleep necessities
BTW. If I show up really drunk and dressed a cowboy, don't be alarmed
I have no idea. But that is beside the point bc in vegas I'm a pro vball player from Ireland and a veterinarian on the weekends
I think we need to teach you what straight means again
I'm beer bonging chocolate fondue. That's how my Valentines Day is going.
He made me brush his hair afterwards because it made him feel like a ken Barbie.
God I hope the sex was good.
We just weren't working out together, on a completely unrelated note some guy that i talked to on his grinder account said i could crash at his place
I envy your ninja level of don't give a fuck
Peeing out the car window on the way home was a nice touch. In December, in Michigan, at 3am. Never seen a girl do that before. Neither had the guy in the minivan next to us.
His mom finally got over her shame and smoked a bowl with us. Merry Christmas to all aka me.
Did I put a bunch of spaghetti on you and then eat it off?!?
That you did
I took a picture of you last night while you were drunk, trying to smoke a bowl through your nose. It's now your contact id.
I'm not fucking any of these fools. But if they want to buy me Olive Garden, that's their business.
i hooked up with all four beatles on halloween get on my level
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