I apparently took a 45 minute shower, and became best friends with his mom.
he asked me if i wanted "a hit" off his inhaler. its definitely time for a new roommate
Ok I won't set anything on fire if you wear pants all night. This is a bet we're both destined to lose.
he yelled 'rock me amadeus!' when he came
i love that song!
NOT THE POINT
He made me a period mix..should I back out now?
He just came into the room wearing nothing but a Speed Racer helmet. I think he just invented a fetish.
He should get nipple rings. No homo...I actually don't think there is a way to make it non gay.
Yeah you should have just let that thought go.
The boat wouldn't start, so we brought it back to her house and we've been sitting in it in her driveway for the past 5 hours drinking beer and yelling at peoplee.
You kept trying to get the girl i brought home to hook up with you by enticing her with 12 baconnators you brought home
What do you take me for? I'm not trying to lure you into bed with stories of my dead aunt.
He just unloaded a dump truck full of red flags on my head.
Opened my notebook to coke all over the pages. So, if that's any indication on how this weekend went.
Sorry about my life...
I may have dislocated my hip getting fucked on the bathroom counter
You have such a talent for this
Friendship, or finding weed?
Yes
Randomize
