That's the secret to virgins: blizzards.
i got kicked out of Barns and Nobles cuz i put all the bibles in the fiction section
I jsut got pulled over and passed the sobritaty test.
Good thing spelling doesn't count.
A cab driver remembered me by name, address, and ex fuck buddys nick name from a year ago. I mustve been one memorable shit show.
there was some random girl that nobody really knew, standing in the corner trying to shave her armpits with a plastic butter knife.
Every single time I start thinking that we shouldn't have done that to him, I think of his ballsack in our passed out faces. No sympathy.
I got groped on the dancefloor by both grooms. I love gay weddings
Aj and I already plan to tape our thumbs to our palms so we know how it feels to be a t-rex.
sleazy september. first one with mono loses.
I'm pricing out a roll of that wax butcher paper. We fuck too messy and I can't afford to wash them every afternoon.
I think I'm still a little drunk from Sunday Funday and I just changed for a date in my car. wish me luck.
He left in the middle of the night, he left his shoes behind and stole my doc martens..size 6 female. Wtf?
He told me we were going to a cabin. It's just logs and a tarp made into walls. This night can go either way at this point.
Well I'll be shitfaced all day the 4th in honor of this great nation... but I'm down for drunken camping/nature fucking on the 5th
Lady Gaga is doing the 1/2 time show. I hope it's gay and liberal as fuck.
Randomize
