Needless to say when I told my parents they loved me less
I was hooking up with him in my car, he wouldn't stop with my nipples, I had to literally beat him off of me. He kept groaning too while he was doing it. Sick.
Mommy issues
someone took a shit in my car last night and left $5 on the seat...
I was also standing on my bed with a road cone pounding on the ceiling at 3am. Not sure why
Dave a horae rider a coqw boy
I do what I can to inject something into your life every day. Today, humor. Saturday. Penis.
I'm not sure if it was sex or spear fishing. He goes in for it like he's crash landing a rocket
I told him I was engaged, had 911 on speed dial and made him wear his seatbelt, then dropped his drunk ass off at his motel...probably not the night he was expecting.
You may genuinely find a use for the siphon. But the bag of human hair is less likely.
Sending a dick pic with a 2010 time stamp on it is violation of proper sexting etiquette
I mean, I Just Had Sex in 4 on her top 25 most played list. That's got to give you some indication
Nothing says "Happy New Year" like having to shit into a plastic bag.
Black labs can get you to do pretty much anything...even approach strange men in their bath robes
Yea I went out in footie pajamas and still got laid. Good night for u?
Some guy is here to get laser hair removal on his balls. I hate my job.
Randomize