My gyno told me the birth control she prescribed reduces sex drive
wats the point then?
What. The. Fuck. No, you will not spank me.
That wasn't intended for you, my bad.
The douche that always wears spandex at the gym just walked into class with a dick going into his mouth drawn on his face. The professor said "rough night" and he still has no idea. Tyring to get a pic
Missing a small section of hand. Hope your night is going better
Um I think everyone drunk and there's some douche on violin.
six ambien and a bong later...he was calling me blueberry princess who need rescuing from the evil oven, and he was sir Eatsalot.
She said I looked exactly like my dad. Then she made out with me. Should I be questionable?
Every man needs a table where they can sit and reflect on the successful penile conquests of the day.
This isn't a because its valentines day booty call, it's a because your cock is phenomenal booty call that happens to be on valentines day..
I got so drunk last night that I drunk texted myself. "hand jobs are the currency of the future"
And then my night got REAL pukey
Also- should we send out holiday cards? That say, "Eat a dick, 2014"?
i just need to find someone who enjoys eating frozen waffles as much as I do. It will be perfect.
He makes me want to cheat on my other 3 boyfriends..
I think drunk me saved him in my phone as "beautiful man" to play a joke on sober me
Randomize
