two pink lines on a pregnancy test is bad, isn't it?
only if you didn't want to fuck up your life.
i think i would be more confident if i were chinese.
whatever a "slut portfolio" is, mine is apparently almost complete
We don't have a ruler. Come downstairs and lay in the snow with a boner so we can see how much snow we've gotten. Put your 8 inches to a less shameful use.
i just won "most creative" category in the condom contest in human sexuality by licking it onto a cucumber. my feedback forms included three phone numbers, one with a Magnum XL taped to it
Do you ever just look at me and get embarrassed?
I really wanna know when trying to grow up turned into try not to throw up.
omg sorry but i tried to stop you when you were at your drunk limit but i took my eyes off you for like 2 seconds and you suddenly appeared with hard liquor in both hands for yourself and downed them and it was downhill from there
What I've learned from glowsticks: glowing things are not safe to eat
I think curling is the best thing to watch when you're baked.
Some small part of me hopes I'm on the probationary list because of seeing the Dean at that fetish party.
My mom and my boss just had a discussion on FB about the sexual habits of old people. The magic of the Internet.
He started praying immediately after we hooked up, condom on and everything.
I love him about as much as I'd love fucking myself with a cactus.
I'm in love. Her name is Jamie. She's beautiful. She punched me in the face.
Randomize
