I dont kno what was worse. Waking up 2 a guy next to me thinking I got blackout or realizing it was your boyfriend.
her nipple to breast ratio was just odd
I just saw a dog and thought "Hey! A goat!" Then realized it was a dog. Now I'm sad.
how's this sound. You, me a box of pink franzia and a night full of possibilities in your basemen. I'll be me. You be you. And we'll see where it goes
i thought i'd fucked her to death. no lie. she just stopped moving.
There's some drunk girl alone in the field, she looks like she could use some help.
Also it's only fair that you know that that girl is me.
officially hit rock bottom.. been yelling through the vent in my room to my little brother trying to convince him to get me water for the past two hours. i fear feeling the full effect of my hangover if i stand.
We just ended up getting drunk and doing field sobriety tests on each for practice... No one remembers who passed.
as he was fingering me, all I was thinking about was how lucky his girlfriend is...
I thought adderall would sober me up, but it did NOT.
i fell into a bathtub last night and broke the fall with my forehead. my forehead is bruised
There is a check pinned to the wall at Connor's. It's a check I wrote for $1,000,000... To you. Clearly you made out well on St. Patrick's day. Thanks for being too shitfaced to remember to grab that.
I may have just tried to argue quantum entanglement as the reason I was still in her bed.
It's like I'm getting a welcome home parade with sex!
You drank whiskey for 9 hours and did not eat anything.Nothing good was going to come from that.
Randomize
