If a girl drunk dials you she's at least entertained the idea of sleeping w/ you correct?
YES
Nope, Im Irish and pissed with some drunk mixed in...therefore punching things is the best solution to every problem.
Heard at work: Get out of my face before I cuntpunch you so hard your granddaughters have miscarriages. I love my job.
I'm moving there. Get me hired.
So yes it WAS her period, NOT a nose bleed.
Ryan Howard.... the only guy who struck out more than me this weekend
I can't be the first person ever who had to explain why her bottle of orange juice had a picture of a screwdriver drawn on it
we can't get the sharpie off the toilet seat from where you pressed your forearm with THUG LIFE written on it while you puked until 3 last night
I think it's safe to say taking shots on the way to the emergency room was rock bottom. We're going to need to think of ways to top that between now and next new years eve...
Will the fact that I have 4 boob hickies add to or take away from tonight's outfit?
And really all I wanted was to be like "hey can I borrow your dick for a few hours this weekend?"
I should start prefacing bondage with girls saying "I know you've read 50 Shades, but there is a 33% you're gonna freakout and go home, while I jerk it alone"
Currently at a fetish club with a set of swings (don't ask). Having flashbacks to the park by my house
Why can't he just dump me? This is like a baby seal clubbing the hunter
You took nana to a bar?!
she suggested it
Idk, I know when I drink vodka my bi side comes out and I just want to make out with a girl
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