so i woke up on my toliet naked backwards. good night.
i woke up convinced that my room was backwards i tried to go into the closet to get outta my room
you yelled that ur labia majora was swollen at 3 am in the dorm hallway
so exactly what does one wear to an abortion clinic?
And your hair- I'd make sure to pee on it first.
He said "I wish they sold 40's in bars".. and a business plan came to mind. Maybe I CAN do something with my degree...
Dude you missed it. This guy in the liquor store knocked over a whole display of 5 hour energy with his face.
I sat down next to him and my bra just unhooked itself
I made him an O's fan. One pic of my tits coming out of a Baltimore shirt and it was done.
It's sitting in bleach right now. You will be the creepiest coolest dude in my book if you made a bracelet from my tooth.
the mexican frat downstairs started singing this mariachi song, then out of nowhere some dude busts out a trumpet and plays along. is this even real?
And now we should drink to that moment where you realize you didn't exactly think things through.
You understand the drunkenness of my drunkenness
My logic for bringing him home was, he's in law school so odds are he wouldn't kill me.
This is a life or shit situation. Grab me toilet paper asap. This bathroom is fucking out. This is not a test. This an actual emergency and I am not joking.
Randomize
