my girlfriends now gay ex-boyfriend kissed me. tell maddie i can't hangout today
I saw him at work today and he gave me a really awkward "I know what you do drunk" look...
I just took the soap out of the bathroom and hid it... this way I could see if she would say anything. you know, to see how clean she was
I don't even know why I got my vag waxed
Ugh, tell me about it. As each day passes and the hair grows more, I get a little more depressed.
If we were to wake in ur bed together, what are the 3 words you would say to me?
Get out now.
i've never smoked before...when you said wake and bake i thought you meant like a funeral bbq or something
We were confused who drove until we went outside and her cupholders were torn out of the dash and laying on the ground
I'm not as easy in Europe as I am in the US
Only because you can wipe your slut slate clean & start anew. It's a little known benefit of our currency exchange.
It was awkward at first he now knows I fucked his little brother, they were both there. then the tequila kicked in and everything was fine.
They made out. Sounded like hippos drinking water
I want a bunch of melted cheese. or a penis. or a penis covered in melted cheese
I have a new favorite bar game. It's called, get dressed up and go drinking alone then make up random stories of why you are alone to look less like an alc
In between rounds of sex, you stopped and did drunken handstand push-ups.
Getting on a bus with a beer pong table. I am proof we can make this campus fun.
Aww you are cute. With your penis. And failures.
Randomize
