I heard it from a little bird bananas is gonna be there
Is this bird reliable bc I don't wanna be wasted running around the bar asking where bananas is
We need to have an Itty-Bitty Titty Committee mtg somewhere in the range of 5 minutes to ASAP.
we just decided that lesbian tuesdays are a must, as of tomorrow.
I'm seriously so bored I'm seeing how many rooms I can masturbate in before I get caught.
Four. Poor grandma...
So after your 27th or so beer, you gave me songs you want to have used if you're ever on intervention.
I can't belive they dont sell booze Sunday mornings. I mean some of us have to work
Just heard the new 'We are the world' ... Can I get my 10 bucks for Haiti back?
last time i saw her she was begging the broken jukebox to play lady gaga.
Just heard Miley Cyrus' version of "Every Rose Has Its Thorn". Fuck everything. If you don't have an std you have no right to remake this song
That's fun. I just masturbated and I swear my vagina creaked.
Oh my god and he smells like heaven wrapped in a beard of knowledge
Sex should not remind me of how baby birds get fed
I'll have a whole suitcase of emergency bacon with me obviously
I woke up and my pants were in the kitchen but my shoes were next to my bed. Do the math...
When we became besties with benefits we agreed I could still get dick
I didn't think I'd have to specify "not my Dad"
Randomize
