Oh man dude like 1000 to 1500 milligrams. Its gonna burn like bad though.
letting you know, as a good neighbor, that when your windows open and your shade is up we can hear and see you dancing naked to money maker... nice boobs
He asked me why my bellybutton was so ugly... and wondered why i wasnt in the mood anymore.
Day 5 without masturbation. Fat chicks are back on the table
You see it tends to piss fathers off when they find their daughter in the arms of a shirtless guy that neither he nor his daughter knows.
Amanda bynes is my spirit animal
But I did spend part of my morning scrubbing your cum off my grandmothers piano.
You made me drive your car so you could give the dude from the parking lot a BJ in the back seat. Classy.
My ex came over to hook up...then I went on a date 2 hours later and got a bj. Single: Finally doing it right.
You know, we cock-blocked like 5 people last night. It's like we're her vagina goalies
We're trying to make our wedding vows nice but meeting on OkCupid fucks that up entirely.
Accomplishment of the day: changing my tampon at 38,000 ft with turbulence. Fasten seatbelt sign was definitely on.
I just lost my handcuff virginity and not in the sexy way.
Can we skype so I'm not drinking alone?
I know you would never do it--but if I ever walk into your house and find a "live love laugh" ANYTHING, I will commit you to an asylum. If it is a vinyl decal adhered to the wall, I will just smother you myself.
Randomize
