this kid just came up to me and asked me if i wanted to play truth or aids with him and his friends. i'm in
The way white people respond to them, you'd think Journey was the president of Caucasia.
Ur just texting me random shit. That's what Twitter is for
no, i'm not a lesbian.. i just really want to fuck you while drinking, thats normal in a friendship.
you spent 5 minutes trying to open an empty PBR and kept saying "don't worry i'll get it i've been working out"
Ya know, in a round about way coinstar is just a glorified vending machine for all my bad choices.
what is the most politically correct way to ask if he still hangs out with the guy that has blue hair and make meth in his car?
His fucking was so lame I considered painting my nails during...
Yes. I am getting trashed on an open tab while judging a karoke competition
Impressive. I approve.
This is Jewish guilt versus Irish Catholic guilt. We should tread carefully, or we could fuck up the space-time continuum or something.
I'm okay with that.
Dude I thought she was trying to turn my dick inside out
I was so fucked up last night that I peed on his FATHER'S BED and fell asleep there. and yes. his father was asleep in the bed
You're the only person I know who would go to New Jersey to give a blowjob and I have so much respect for you for it
What the fuck were you guys talking about?
Lube wrestling.
Oh, makes sense.
I am texting my ex and my future boyfriend while eating fish and chips with my current boyfriend... How and when did I become such a terrible person???
Randomize
