She bet her virginity on the Celtics. Looks like Kobe wont be the only one breaking in a new ring.
i wasn't going to tell her about the threesome but i had to explain the tree and the green paint everywhere
well.. I tried flushing my sandals down the toilet
To celebrate your birthday last night, I got drunk and sang drift away in buffalo wild wings. Happy birthday. The entire bar sang the chorus with me. It was magical.
It was my penance. God came down to me in the form of an angel and said, "you must atone for your sins, by puking in your mouth at church right before communion"
Its a "sake bomb in the bathroom during class" kind of day.
I got pushed into some bald man in the pit and spent the next few minutes with my face against his head. Man I love ecstasy.
Hows the party lookin?
At a live sex show right now. Not sure about the employee party
Thanks for taking care of me. I hope I didn't pee in your car.
I don't really want to talk about it, but if anyone finds my unicorn mask with my bra in it, I would really like that back.
Having sex with him is like eating mayo. Don't think about it, just do it. It's worth it.
Well, she chose the fuckboy life or the life chose her. Not sure which one but either way I don't need that negativity in my life.
I just want you to make me second guess my worth as a human. Is that too much to ask?
He spilled some of his beer on your shoulder then proceeded to lick it off. By the face you made, I don't know if you were completely horrified or really turned on.
So I might join you on the drunk train on the way to poor decisions.
Randomize
