yeah he was eating me out and i didnt know someone made popcorn so I thought the smell was comming from my vagina
wtf
It's a self-perpetuating puke chain.
I will give you all my nachos to make this happen
They called it unicorn pee, and i thought that was interesting so i drank it. Please don't let me drink strangers booze again.
Just ate tuna on a frozen waffle because we were out of bread.
This is why you don't have nice things.
If I get aids I am starting a lawsuit against snapchat.
I can't tell if my bong is gender-neutral or not
His last Google search was "will sperm ruin the retina display on Apple products?"
I think the reason she hasn't text me back is because I spanked her ass with Hulk Hands
I will 100% jerk off using my own tears as lube before I'd ever bang a 4.
Just fantasized about my boss's fingers in a meeting. I desperately need to get some.
I told him to take the baby so I could work out. My workout consisted of getting high and masturbating
I was having a serious heart-to-heart, and then the weed gummy kicked in.
I had to dust off the condom box before she came over..
I’ll always remember that day you sent me that random nude on accident lmao changed my life
Randomize