If burritos were dicks, we'd have a serious relationship problem on our hands. Just saying.
if all i could do was poop and smoke weed, i'd be eternally happy
amen to that sister
what is with people arguing over soda or pop? to be honest i thought it was just called chaser
Blacked out at the beach and unblacked out at a piano bar singing Tiny Dancer.
He came on my face. Threw a towel at me. Stole my weed. And left. I thought this would be over after we graduated?
It was an 11am booty call. We were both out of our element.
I think I'm in love. He's everything I ever wanted for myself, just with a lot more drugs.
Nothing says "lifelong friendship" like FaceTiming in a sex shop.
I get a nose bleed and my uncle is automatically giving me the "your doing lines off dashboards again aren't you" look
I love how four vibrators are within reach of me right now, but not a single hair brush or comb
THE CEO RESPONDED TO THE MEMO WITH HIS "UNICORN" EMAIL ADDRESS AND NOW HE'S APOLOGIZING TO EVERYONE FOR USING HIS PERSONAL EMAIL AT WORK.
this is the last time i am going to a 7am booty call
The last time I saw her someone was carrying her on a bike and she was yelling that she was E.T.
You're his holy grail. The moment he finally gets you to orgasm he'll probably just retire and become a monk.
Did we just second hand smoke crack?
Randomize
