That's why you don't touch shit after fingering somebone
Kinda felt bad though cuz she whimpered and shuttered a lot, i felt like i was kicking a puppy, only the puppy liked it and came a bunch
You disinfected one of his friends, buttered the jeans of the other one. And you poured every liquid you could reach on the floor, including cooking oil and green tea. It wasnt a great first impression
I'm this close to masturbating to his profile pics from 2006
I AM OVERLY HIGH AND OVERLY AWARE OF MY TONGUE IN MY MOUTH
my boobs are worth more now than the blue book value of my car.
I only saw you for about 5 min, but you were rambling about how not even the whiskey could make you fight the skeleton guards.
We won 11 games of beer pong, and then I spent a half hour trying to get into the top bunk. Then i realized it was a cabinet in the bathroom
"Wait, who's gun did I have?" Moments when you re-examine your life choices.
I feel that it is my duty to the human race to invent a colon squeegy
saw a dude wearin soccer cleats at the bar tonight. fuckin kiddin me man?
Well sort of got busted by a cop while having sex outside, so your call
tonight at the bar some people told me that I have a sprit following me around.. that's the kind of shit that you laugh off till you're home alone.
im gonna shove his purity ring down his throat
Right before he dumped me... he got a really ugly pair of pants. They were twill pants. A pinkish color. When I'm sad... I picture him in them. It makes me smile.
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