i just walked into a room at this party and someone yelled "dibs!"...
she said shes getting her period tomorrow so she wants to have sex now. i didnt object. it would have been heartless.
ofcourse you didnt.
I hope his life after cheating on me is as good as Tiger's golf game is these days.
This freshman just ran out of her seat in a 200 person lecture, opened the emergency door and vommed everywhere. Then quietly went back to her seat. $2 Pitchers hit someone hard last night.
Well, I woke up with a text message from my cab driver that said "I hope you're alive," so that's a good indicator of how I was acting last night.
Apparently blowing a .28 for a cop and then kissing her on the mouth is technically assaulting a police officer. Who knew.
Sometimes I hate my life and then I remember I live in the WORLD CAPITAL OF RUM
We should hook up after this. Laugh or look horrified to say yes.
You've got until 8 and then I'm kicking down your door and pouring a beer down your ass via funnel
Let's ride this possibly pregnant train together
Please explain the hospital band on my wrist.
The vodka gummy bears are so strong. If I die of alcohol poisoning, please tell my dad it was single malt scotch.
I've realized that drinking at your apartment alone on a Tuesday probably isn't a good thing.
I had Mac n cheese made with weed butter last night. Epic
Last night I ate a candle out of a strippers ass.... I guess it was an okay night.
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