so i decided not to tell her that her fiance is cheating since i already bought the bridesmaid dess
you do realize eating doritos and gatorade as a breakfast hangover cure is only acceptable for one more month - then we have to grow up
the liquor store owner came out from behind the counter and kissed my cheek when he saw that i am back for fall semester
When I came home you were using a glowstick to eat peanut butter from the jar.
Had a farmer come into my class to talk to us today. He apparently met his wife on fb and just thanked jesus for his land. I think I am in the wrong major...
Found your dick twin last night
And I don't know what it is about weed making me want every episode of the real housewives of everywhere
So coach him. No guy wants to admit being unsure of something in bed. It's a man-law or something.
If I puke off the kayak tomorrow think nothing of it.
Want to know what makes for a better story than treehouse sex? Getting busted during treehouse sex
There should be a rule. If your dick is under 6 inches, you are not allowed to dress as Thor.
After everything you did, you followed it with "Oh God, that's something a high person would do. But I'm not high." So yeah, you're not getting near my stash again.
i could've stared at her spine forever man..she was so deep, and she made a drink out of vodka and organic mangoo shit. i will find her and present that goddess with some fucking gummies
you're no longer allowed out of my sight at parties
The best of us have puked in our office garbage cans. I just hope yours wasn't the metal mesh kind...and bagless like mine. Rock n roll office manager.
Woke up with a $50 attached to my penis with a rubber band..
Sweet. Tell little Richard to buy us a sack and a pizza.
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