So I just had this crazy idea, and no it has nothing to do with the fact that they made me take shots at work.
Maybe I'll tuck it in and pretend to be a woman pretending to be a man that is attracted to women that are attracted to women who look like men
you know when i was in school the girls definitely did not have the tits the 15 year olds have now. so unfair.
Just saw cops pull over the ice cream truck. What a dick
Ive either hit rock bottom or become my own hero.
sorry about last night, I don't know what happened but I woke up this morning and looked strikingly similar to courtney love, it had to be bad.
i'm dressed up like the coppertone baby and being hit on a guy in a monk costume. the irony is not lost on me.
best googles of the semester: toe fucking, purpose of two nostrils, human tail. with pictures
Here's an idea...how about I take shots by myself and drunk dial you around noon?
When he went down on me, I saw his bald spot... It completely ruined the experience
It's probably not healthy how legit bummed I am that my bottled of wine is gone.
The party was Hollywood themed and I won an oscar for "finest ass in a leading role"
OK, but next time I'd like to be present for our make-up sex.
He stuck a cigarette in my butt last night. There is no coming back from that.
I need a significant other who'll eat Skittles from my boobs
Randomize
