just had a super intense, drunken debate about which blink182 member is the most fuckable. i got so mad i left the room. new low.
i just remebered what i did last night, i asked a homeless man on a bike "hey whatcha doin with that bike, wanna make 5 bucks?" he agreed and then rode me on his handle bars a block away to the next bar.
My breakfast consisted of a slimfast and an adderal. My fridge is like an insecurity buffet.
Isn't that the only thing she's good at? Complaining and blow jobs?
we talked for like an hour, i feel like we really bonded. i mean i was simultaneously giving him head but you get the point.
and she was grinding on the wall, purring at guys she liked at the pregame...
The walls are thin & apartments are narrow so all the bedrooms are next to each other. Our complex could compete in synchronized orgasms.
We're in the kiddy pool eating marshmellows and drinking wine out of a box. Please dress casual.
My arms are still sore. Apparently, lube wrestling is the best workout ever.
My love will cover her like lulu lemon yoga pants. Casually supportive and always complimenting your Ass.
I peed my pants and am still dancing with guys at the club because I liked my outfit too much to change. Call the ratchet emergency
She had her pubic hair down there shaved into the superman s............. Best one night stand ever.
he called me 'mate' and i had to remind him that you dont call people mate who continously make your dick hard
When campus security rolled up he stole their car and drove it like 100 feet. Then he walked up and gave back the keys because it was a hyundai.
Don't get yourself off tomorrow. We. Are. Having. Sex. That's that. Just dont do it.
Randomize