Its not alright that i make out with a manican.
Just had to reach into my sister's bag and shut off her vibrator so my parents wouldn't hear it. I am the world's greatest brother.
sitting with a guy who's looking at the cum stains on the bed. Do you think he's convinced it's from the cat?
No. He thinks you're slutty.
that's the type of pussy you go to the bathroom and wack off before you fuck her, just to last longer inside of her!
all i remember is screaming butter knifes are for pussies.
You broke into someone's house and stole a pan of lasagna.
This is davidson friend mat i an drunk. Thank you for having a physical relationship. With David. I bet he gas a penis the size of an elephant tusk. You are a lucky lady.
I've already reverted to sweat pants. And lonely drinking.
Either I'm still drunk or the right side of the bed is now the left side.
Oh, and apparently I was butt ass naked and walked into the room where anna was skyping her dude in afghanistan and said "This is happening."
Go for it! You're young. Have fun. Be somebody's expensive hobby like Anastasia Steele.
you really need to remember next time not to write your name and phone number on the paper its wrapped in.
But what if it got lost?
its illegal. you dont want people to contact you if they find it.
We work out, have really intense sex, and then eat cereal marketed for children. We have a system, okay?
I literally just woke up in a dog bed, in a bathtub in someone else's house...and I'm not wearing pants
After we finish having sex, he smokes an honest to God pipe. It's like fucking a big, sexy Sherlock Holmes...
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