Woman walking into toby keith concert: 8 months pregnant, black eye, shirt on that has a picture of a boot and the words "we'll put a boot up your ass" with an american flag printed over--the sleeves were ripped off and she had a camo cowboy hat. Greatest thing I've ever seen.
So the guy sitting next to me is watching dungeons and dragons on youtube. I didnt realize you could get more pathetic than actually playing the game.
I met him yesterday and now he's wanting to hold hands and kiss in public. i hate this
Just had a serious bathroom emergency at walmart a and it appears that i ate a taco bell burrito wrapper last night
I want to see boobs tonight. Like, real ones. Your ones.
I'm romantic.
Clearly it doesn't get better with age. Just more sexual
I wonder how he feels knowing that he's the one who turned me gay
Directions to your booty call: go down the part of Route 66 that has all the car dealerships, motels and bad decisions, go past the Christian college and turn left at the Children's Center.
If a marine in My bed is not considered a valid excuse for missing class then I don't want to live in America anymore
From what I heard you ordered him to lick your balls. Unless you've kept a huge secret I understand his confusion.
I think I puked in the middle of sex last night if that's any indication as to how drunk I was.
This weekend I turned down sex to watch the Star Wars marathon... Is this growing up?
I think everyone at the office can tell I'm dehydrated
you mean still drunk
I've heard it both ways
I don't think you could pull off being mean.
How do you think I'm still single?
We're in an alley with a psychic wizard, shes reading our palms
Randomize
