you left with a lisa lampanelli lookalike... i hope she was atleast funny
I think you came in my ear last night and I had to pick it out infront of my kids in class today
At least you didnt end up topless in a Tina Turner wig singing cabaret tunes
judging by the cake all over the hall, my neighbors had a pretty successful thursday too.
Jim came in did 3 body shots of her she said "I like your tongue" and they left. I swear to god its deja vu he's done it before
Apparently, I showed up wrapped in caution tape and immediately jumped on the stripper pole and started making very sexual gestures at the birthday girl. We lasted ten minutes.
A client gave me a bottle of vodka today. And he was hot with a beard. It's like he knows my soul.
thought the power was flickering out but it turns out im just blinking
lesson #1 of freshman year: grinding with a sombrero is difficult
Zombie crawl summary: 5 of 6 friends successfully laid. friend 6 too drunk to care and making out with a whale (not a costume)
The cop used the word "belligerent" 16 times in the report. You get to bail him this time. I'm not up for it.
Might be using my graduation money to pay for an abortion.
He told me I smelled like fruit loops and then bit me on the tit
Have you ever realized how weird it is to think that you've fucked someone and don't know what their handwriting looks like?
How much have you had to drink?
Qhaghao Oslo?
That seems like quite a lot.
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