They still haven't come up with a cure for a hangover; good luck cancer.
Suite mates just came in and said that we have to go to Africa. They're already packed. Didn't know you could get that high.
i can hardly tell the difference between falling asleep and passing out anymore
My gynecologist inadvertently complimented your penis.
HE'S turngign 18teen real soon.k
So was it you or me who decided it was a good idea to inscribe fuck you on the counter?
That was me. Just a 'welcome to our home' kinda thing.
Thanks for the viagra you gave me last night. I ended up getting called in to work to cover a shift. So I had to tell Kayla that I couldn't hang out and I had to try and hide my dick all night while walking serving people food all night.
Youll thank me when youre dead an dont have a cat eating your face
I've just never heard the term serendipitous used to describe having one's asshole licked.
facebook is just a cold reminder of all the times other bitches won my hookups
I can't hookup with a guy in my car because it smells like Taco Bell..
Hey! you should come over!
Who is this? The number is saved as "Sexy Awesome"
help. his tongue is stuck. Its not what you think. Hurry.
Must lick fork, like it's a DICK
Just let a guy I just met eat me out in a shed at a baby shower. May have sunk to a brand new low
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