Get out...Run...Or there's going to be a dick in your mailbox
I woke up (not at home) to find out I kissed Ryan Caberra, flashed for free gumbys and carried around an inflatable moose named Johnson. Great success.
We saw some woman wearing leather pants. It was weird. We have decided to follow her on her travels to see where people go in leather pants in Michigan.
We owe the rent and you're unemployed...you're in no financial position to flirt with cocaine addiction.
Too much gin, very little bucket
i cant get the smell of ass out of my nose
mom just texted me "hawaii ambien". those are like the two things she talks about to keep me interested in spending time with her.
I don't know, I kept pretending that I was riding an elephant during. It was actually really fun, but you can't tell him that!
My homemade mace ate through its aluminum container. I make awesome mace.
I am just glad I was home to catch most of it, cause it smells BAD.
I'm not a scientist but that could be because it's homemade mace. That is however just a hypothesis
I have a spatula mark on my ass. He spanked me with a spatula. Take that Rachel Ray.
I threw up a lot of peanut butter last night.
I just want him to make us coffee. And whack off into the sunset
i have paint on my face i'm missing my earrings, there's a bag of rice in my room, and i have a purse full of monopoly pieces
She started crying because the Rugrats grew up
What the fuck was I thinking eating an entire tub of potato salad on acid. My stomach today bro
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