Well, for starters you dressed up in all Green and kept singing that song from "A Goofy Movie". Then you made us call you Powerline for the rest of the night...needless to say no, you didn't hook up with her
I'm gonna put my relationship status as "widowed" to see if it helps me get some poon.
I kept calling his name while we were having sex cuz i was so proud that i remembered it.
so i used to love airports for the escalators... now its the bars... then the escalators after the bars
To justify your stumbling you just kept yelling 'it's the boat, not the drinks' We hadn't even left the dock yet....
when someone at the bar asked you a question all you knew how to say was "chug-a-lug"
We're about to go to a party titled 'Night of 1000 Jello Shots".
3pm strippers are depressing
So, we bought a knight today. Nearly life size. Hes in the garage, so don't be startled.
You were dancing with his friend and you stopped to literally push the girl he was dancing with out of the way to make out with him
you know you've had too much sex when your vagina hurts when you laugh
6 tequila shots, 3 kamikazes and 1 rumplemintz.. The next day I puked in my office trash can while doing payroll. I may have to dock my own pay for lack of class.
wow thanks for pushing me towards an older man
you gotta start somewhere if you're going to be a trophy wife
I arrived home at 7am wearing nothing but my underwear and a fedora. I ate half a dozen deviled eggs. Put Katy Perry on repeat. And cried myself to sleep. We cannot go out on Thursday anymore
We could have mediocre awkward sex or mediocre stunted/awkward/uncomfortable banter. The possilities are relatively finite
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