pwbgyin
what?
penguin condom
The midget we rented got so drunk last night he got carted off in an ambulance
he confessed his love for me, threw up on my pillow and then fell asleep on said pillow. i met him last night.
better than last weekend. things are really looking up for you.
That can be our thanksgiving, vodka and cornbread. Just like the pilgrims.
I've been watching anime, masturbating and eating nutella for three days. I hope she never comes back.
i feel as uncomfortable as your camel toe looks.
he ran through my sliding door
in his defense that door gets complicated after 10 beers
When he wears his hair down and sandals, he looks like Jesus. A Jesus I would fuck.
That's not what Jesus is for
Remember that time we turned a can of Axe body spray into a flame thrower?
My vagina is glad I'm back at work because it needs a vacation after working all through my vacation.
I've spent hours masturbating before. It's actually my favorite Sunday activity
if it makes u feel better, i skipped class so i could go to a sex convention in jersey a few hours earlier than if i went to class.
Do not confuse my plans for being an adult though. I will ABSOLUTELY be practicing suturing, on my porch, while getting stoned.
You handed me your heels and said, "barefoot running is all the rage." Then you proceeded to run home.
you fell asleep with her panties on your face. how are you surprised??
Randomize
