dude, i look like john mccains neck right now
Yeah I'm pretty much like lane on gilmore girls except my mom doesn't look so mean all the time.
Lady came into work yesterday. Full on stache and beard. I've never concentrated on making eye contact harder in my life.
bio was interesting today. swabbed my mouth to see what the cells where, ha. found a sperm cell. he was just that awesome
One question: Why is your trash can full of blood and pop-tarts?
I should probably file for unemployment. Sometime between last night and 4 AM I facebooked my manager the lyrics to hoe by ludacris. I'm just projecting ahead here.
Just say its a British thing. They wont know Its not. And if they say you're not British, proposition them for a post-sex game of cricket.
An outback commercial just played and I remembered that guy from Australia Imade out with at the Derby. Great Bachelorette Party, btw.
Not sorry that my walk of shame this morning was barefoot on my scooter.
I guess when I black out I feel that it's not inappropriate to grope my gf in front of her parents.... But hey at least I'm starting off 2013 single
I'm working on a search warrant...can u pick up box of Chardonnay...I'll give u cash when u get here...
Yea... I love that ur a prosecutor and drink box wine
you gave me money for the cab and then walked home..
I was high as fuck laying down in the back seat while she gave him head. Most awkward chill moment of my life.
You took the glass microwave plate and said it was the closest thing to a frisbee, let me know how that works out for you
I ripped ass in on and around her face during a hard 69. I don't think she'll ever call me again.
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